Someone was dying
Before learning about the Godllywood group, I thought everything was fine with me.
I was an “ordinary” pastor’s wife. I would go out to evangelize, assist in the meetings, counsel the people…
I did everything a pastor’s wife would “normally” do.
However, inside of me there were many ugly things. I only became aware of them when I began the Rush process to join Godllywood.
First of all, when I heard about the group, I imagined something tangible, something that would help me become a better person and learn. I did not imagine that this change would start inside of me, because in my limited vision, everything was OK. I had even gone through a desert and “overcame.”
But what God wanted to reveal to me was much greater, it was not something merely tangible, but indeed spiritual, from inside out. I did not want to look into myself and see how mistaken I was. So I would always find excuses for my failures.
Then the Rush began. I remember receiving an email inviting me to join the group. I immediately answered yes, because I was seeking a transformation. However, until then, even the word transformation was “unknown” to me. I used this word frequently when counseling others, but I was unaware of its real meaning.
When I received the tasks, a thirst to find out who I really was developed in me. The reason why I saw each task as an opportunity to be different. I sought in each task to gain what I didn’t have. For example: I sought to have intimacy with God even by doing the “simpler” tasks, such as setting up a table, exercising, wearing a skirt…
One day, I was exercising and started to think about this word – transformation. That’s when God spoke to me, as if He were in front of me: do you want to know the true meaning of this word? Then I will show you.
At each moment, what was revealed to me was very hard! I can say that it hurt a lot, because I began to see how unbearable, poor, shy, fearful and proud I was. One day, I stopped in the middle of the street and began crying desperately, as if someone had just died. In reality, someone was dying – that indifferent Cláudia, who has no friends, the one that was scared of allowing others to get to know her, because then they would realize how cold she was.
That Cláudia that spoke without thinking, and when she would think, she thought wrongly that that was how she expressed her sincerity, and that people would admire her sincerity.
During that painful moment, I picked up my cell phone, and in the middle of the street, while shaking and crying, I sent a text message to my Big Sister. Doing so was not easy. I was scared of showing what was inside of me. I felt sick just to think about it. How could I have been so disagreeable for so long? How did my husband tolerate me? I was also disagreeable with him… I found out many things in all the areas of my life. Each time I sought something, I would find it. I decided no longer to be the same person.
This drove me to take action. That’s when I began to see results, the opposite of what I have seen during all those years of deceit.
God wants to make a difference in each one of us today. However, each one of us must have an unquenchable thirst inside, a thirst for inner change, for being different, for killing the old nature that makes us stop in time… I killed this nature. I got out of that deception. I changed my attitudes and actions.
What is your situation?
The devil has deceived many, making them think that everything is “OK,” that they do not need God, that there is no need to join the Godllywood group, that they can change whenever they want to… However, how can one change while one’s being deceived? How can one change without recognizing one’s mistake? How can we change if we cannot see who we truly are?
Today, I can see that God created Godllywood to save us. Great women of God are in this group, and they are used by God to help and assist us in anything that is needed. They always respect our space, but they are always ready to use their courage to take out of us anything that is impure.
Dear friend, God does not want you to be just one more face in the crowd. His will is for you to make a difference!