Pretending not to notice
When I started partaking in the Rush months, a period in which tasks have to be competed in order to get into Godllywood, I was going through so many conflicts within me and the circumstances that I faced were the most difficult ones I have faced until now.
But I knew I couldn’t go back because I wanted a radical change within me.
I wanted to change, but I couldn’t do it with my own strength. I wasn’t able to see my inner being on my own. I needed “outside ” help from people who could show me who I really was, and help me change.
I thought I knew who I was inside, and that the Lord saw me as I saw myself. But after a while, I began to understand the opposite: God doesn’t look at me like I look at myself. He sees deep inside, much more than I thought.
He knows my inner fears, inferiorities, traumas, habits that are there and I never noticed, or at least pretended not to notice.
A person without realizing is living like a blind man in darkness. She is only fooling herself thinking that everything is going well in her spiritual life. She simply doesn’t want to accept the reality.
But God is always there and willing to reach out and help us, and for me, this help came from the Godllywood Rush months. It was a great privilege for me to be able to participate, because I was challenging myself. These challenges aren’t just for a period of time, but for the rest of our lives. We must not only complete the tasks, but live them, and practice them during the whole course of our journey here.
After all, if the person tries to do it themselves, it will be hard to define and challenge themselves, because they will always find excuses not to or forget to do so ( like it was difficult for me at first L . But when a person does it with other people, they share their experiences with each other, it gives you an incentive to go ahead. It also makes us more disciplined which becomes part of our lives.
The person is always trying to challenge herself, because she, now, has the incentive to change and will put into practice this change in her life.
I can say with certainty that by participating in the Ruth months, I didn’t lose anything, but just gained a lot more than I expected.
I found out who I truly was. I started looking from the outside and started taking the steps to change. it wasn’t easy. I had to sacrifice, I had to overcome my flesh and go against my desires. I also had to overcome my complex issues and find the roots that were inside of me.
I learned to fight and overcome my desires. My relationship with God, my family and friends became even stronger and better. I have overcame my inner fears. I became a more open and honest person. I learned to accept the truth about myself, even if it wasn’t too good, and also I learned not to be afraid to tell others the truth to help them.
I am grateful to God for this great privilege of being able to participate in the Rush months. And this is only the first step, I won’t stop here. I’ll go forward even more, because there are still a lot of things that I can change.
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2nd November 2014 at 19:15
Amen i also joined rush thos year and its such a blessing. Before i was approved to join the group I remember when Ms Marcia said some will do R ush just to pledge and some wil do it because the want to be new womem of God and they want to change. And i joined because i want to be a women of God that God always wanted me to be and am greatful that God choose me to b e part of Godllywood.
30th October 2014 at 22:11
I’m also in the Rush Month this year, and it has been a lot of Challenging to me, there’s a saying that I once hear, it says “if its not challenging you, you won’t benefit from it” . In the Rush Month,I’ve learned a lot, everyday I want to see a change in my life, the tasks am doing,are not only for that certain month but for the rest of my life, I’m glad to be part of the Rush.
19th October 2014 at 12:08
Thank you for sharing. When I started the Rush Tasks I was so afraid. I had complexes and inferiority. I challenged myself that I will do it and make it up to the end. What called my attention this message pretending not to notice. God doesn’t look at me the way I look at myself. it is so true. I am learning since I began the Rush.
25th October 2013 at 2:04
Thank you for sharing i really learn t some tips like to live the life of tasks not doing them for a certain month something that i have been doing in my appearance is that i wasn’t really continuing to try different things but i will start challenging myself to do more.