Going back to the Past – 9th Part

Viviane Freitas

  • 1
  • Sep
  • 2015

Going back to the Past – 9th Part

  • 1
  • Sep
  • 2015

South Africa was a country where I stayed in for a year and a half. It was the country where my errors were shown to me, concerning what was inside of me, beyond the jealousy that I discovered in Portugal.

I was in Johannesburg two times and in Cape Town two times as well within the one year and a half that I was in the country.

Right in the beginning of my arrival in South Africa, things happened that were the most difficult to handle, and came with very deep roots. One of which came from a comment where a wife had said, “Wow your mom likes your sister more than you! She is so close to your sister!” The comment went something along those lines in relation to my sister and I.

Upon hearing those words, it was like a shot to my heart.

I became desperately sad. My facial expressions changed and I went to my room to cry. The more I cried,  the more nothing happened to resolve the hole that was inside of me. The wife’s words sounded so true, because in reality when my eyes observed what was around me, I saw my mom’s happiness, the way she spoke with Cris; she got along better with her than with me.

Wow, how those words created roots! I never in my life heard anyone say that. I believed in the wife’s words. Those words opened my eyes to evil.

That night Júlio asked me what was wrong, I was so sad. I told him what the wife said, and he said that I should take that question to my parents.

And I actually went to their bedroom at night, knocked on the door, and I entered ready to let off some steam. I entered in tears. And worried they asked me, “What happened?”

When they asked me, I asked them, “Dad, Mom, do you love Cris more than me?”

They were surprised at the question and the way that I was determined to vent and talk.

And they said, “No, my daughter, we love you both equally.” And I said, “The wife said that mom loves Cris more than me!”

Immediately my father, furious, asked, “Who told you that? Tell me!”

And I said who it was. And he rebuked the dirty thoughts that were in my head, that were malicious.

Incredible! I never thought of it that way, but when I heard the wife’s comment, I really came to hear and believe and notice that everything was testifying to what the wife had said.

The next day, my father scolded the wife.

And in fact, my parents were happy when Cris arrived. It was actually the first time that the family was altogether, reunited after we, the daughters, had gotten married.

My parents had already lived with me. But it was the first time that Cris lived with us.

It was normal, after months, to celebrate and express happiness to Cris, The nostalgia was too much.

And it went away, the impression I had.

The devil is smart. He knows that everything depends on how we see the situation. Sometimes we don’t see, but he uses people to bring words of death, just so we can have bad eyes and to separate us from the Light.

“The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light, but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!”  (Matthew 6: 22-23)

And in a situation like this, it is well defined in who we prioritize: the Word of God or the wife’s words.

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29 comentários

  1. Amen! So strong, thanks for being so open and sincere and sharing personal experiences. I know this is our duty from God, but it is not an easy duty and I appreciate it because it helps and encourages me so much when you share these experiences.

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  2. Wow this was very strong in so many ways!! The devil is smart and knows what things we are sensitive too. This showed me that when a negative thought or suggestion come first I must think if this thought is from God or not, if it isn’t reject it immediately before it enters my heart.

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  3. this is an eye opening message..thank you Mrs Vivian

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  4. I always look forward to reading your diary as it speaks to me all the time. I noticed that the voices that have put you down are inside the church? I don’t think if it was an outsider you will be bothered more.
    The more I have been working for God the more hate I have witnessed among some servants. People I hav thought would help me be a soldier. Coming here and learning your experiences has been eye opening. Not many wives open this chapter. Before you I honestly say I had never had of this before. Keep it up be more open. I have seen people leave the presence due to people offending them.
    God bless you.

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  5. Thank you Mrs vivian
    Very powerful and true. I always believed my mom loved my sister more as well and grow up with this believe that the devil placed in me. I would hear people saying it even my own sister.
    I don’t believe in the lies but the word of God and I know God wouldn’t have given me a mother who loves me less.

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  6. This is so strong because the devil does work in the mind. He will always try to manipulate your mind and make something into nothing. When the devil put things in our mind we have to rebuke it as soon as possible because once it sink in and u continue to think about it, it will grab a hold of you emotions. That’s why the bible tells us lean not on our own understanding and trust in God. Also everyone has there own opinions but we have to remember the word of God And know that it will direct you and teach you many things. We serve a mighty God.

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