From Mother to Mother : I have no time!
With life full of chores that we have nowadays with studies, work, home, shopping, our life with God, and our commitment to serve Him… in short, we end up having no day off so that we may be able to complete all the responsibilities.
With everything, where was the time for our son?
There were several times that Gabi complained about never going out to where he wanted to and countless times when he cried for wanting to play and we could not wait for him…
After all, we always had commitments and schedules but at the same time my son was growing and the time dedicated to him was always left for later.
He gave a lot of work during the meetings, everything was bad, always dissatisfied, but we managed to take him, distracting him and compensating him with other things and … time passed.
Until one day something made me wake up, it was when we were going to church and I heard him say, “Ahhhhh no!!! Not again!!! All day at Church?? I do not want to go!”
It was a shock to me!
I was very sad to see that my son didn’t want to go to church. “How can that be? Why??” I thought.
At night I prayed and I asked God to let me understand my son. I didn’t want to feel sad, because feelings are never helpful, but I wish I could turn this situation around. What was happening with him that made him react that way? Were we giving a bad example? Something was happening to him in order for him to react like that and I wanted to understand.
It was enough to ask and God doesn’t fail like he never has failed, and whenever we humble ourselves and ask for His help, He comes!
That night, God made me see my son and understand that I had a life and not a doll that should not come and go according to my schedule, no! He has his own life, wills and should be respected as such. He was no longer a baby and was already 7 years old.
On this day, I saw a totally annulled child, suffocated in his wills and about to explode, or rather yet, his reaction was the explosion.
I realized that this could be one reason that children when young are raised in the church and then grow up to reject being in God’s house as a way to break free. Therefore being, they turn away and do everything they could never do until that given moment. They make errors by not having the malice that a child raised outside of the church has and the mothers can no longer control them because they grew and now blame the church for taking the attention of their mothers and for having prevented them from doing what they wanted to do. A feeling of revolt that is totally wrong!!
To avoid this episode and because I wanted to put an “end” to this situation, we invented “Gabi’s Day” at our house. Together with my husband we talked to our son and explained to him that just like we had our days that we go to church, go to work and he goes to school, that there would also be the day of Gabi, where he would choose what we would do. It would be a day for him to do what he wanted, but of course with limits and in accordance with our conditions, and he couldn’t believe it!!! He was very happy!!
I can say that I was surprised with the very simple choices: for example, going to the park to play ball; swimming in a pool; receiving a friend at home…
Although on this day Gabi feels free to be able to choose even what to eat and be happy for having all this attention, sometimes we can not dedicate to him a whole day—so then we split a morning or an afternoon and most of the time I start and my husband comes later. However, it is our commitment.
Just like all the other advices, this brought us many results as: unity in the family; quality time with family; for example, instead of asking for a pizza we make one together; we dedicate ourselves to each other…
And the result? A much more happy son, pleased and honored as it should be.
I say to you, my friend and mother, his behavior changed even at church, because we spent teaching him that just like we give him the best on his day, we should give our best to God on the days that belong to Him. After this teaching, his understanding opened up and I could understand what this means. “Honoring, giving the best is prioritizing” Like that Gabi started going to church with pleasure, became a tither and sacrificed to God at 8 years of age.
So what do you say about also creating the day, the morning, the afternoon or a few hours for your child? They are unique moments in which you can enjoy together, teaching and learning for life, in a vivid and real way, just as the Lord Jesus taught us…