From Children to Parents: My Way

Viviane Freitas

  • 2
  • Mar
  • 2015

From Children to Parents : My Way

  • 2
  • Mar
  • 2015

This month I have stopped to think about the type of relationships I have and in what way I have invested in them.

We know that everything that we nourish grows and becomes strong, vigorous …likewise, that which we don’t nourish, or that we stop investing in, tends to weaken, waste away, and ultimately “die.”

In recent weeks we talked about the importance of investing in our relationship with God; we learned to seek the Holy Spirit above all things. He is the Water of Life, the solid base from where everything else begins, such as marriage, children, home, and consequently all the answer we need. Without God, as it’s written, we can do nothing! (Jonh15: 5)

Having this aspect well-defined, how then have we dealt with our husband, our children, family, colleagues and friends? Could it be that we have invested the right way, or we “love” in our own way, do we take care of them the way they took care of us, but we don’t renew the vows, we don’t act differently, and that is why we always get the same results?

A friend of mine told me this month something that still makes me think: Not to help my husband the way I “think”, but be sensitive to what he really needs. And indeed, in the rush of everyday life, maybe we have already accustomed ourselves to act in a “routinely” manner: Prepare breakfast, each one takes care of their own responsibilities, make lunch, snack time, dinner, sleep, get-up, and consecutively the next day … Or: take the children to school, snack time, do house work, cooking, and do the same things all week long, during the month, and a whole year.

In fact, there is a huge human tendency to be imbalanced; very rarely we stop to think and create! To see where our attention is missing, and how we can transmit, even without words, what God has done in our interior. And this excludes the routine!

So if your kids are at home, on vacation, do not let your lack of attention turn the “on” switch in video games, from morning to night.
If you work, register them in leisure time, in some sport. On the weekends, go out, go to a garden, a museum—make a different schedule. Allow them to “breathe” beyond their comfort zone, so that they too are not consumed by the rush of day-to-day.

In what way have you invested in your marriage? As you always did, your way, or seeking in God the right balance, being sensitive to the need of your partner? We can not forget one thing: Relationships do not collapse from night to day, but are a result of continuous lack of attention, constant lack of investment and various problems put together, which were not solved. And this does not just happen to “others”. If God has entrusted me with them, He expects me to take care of them, not “my way.” Each one of us has special needs that must be met, so we should not judge what others need, according to what we ourselves need or want, or simply include them in our “routine” … but we must stop, evaluate and look for ways to bring the answers and the solutions we need, appropriate to each situation.

But for that we must stop and invest time to ponder, think and this is increasingly more and more rare, unfortunately nowadays, where everything is done mechanically…
We are not dealing with “things” but with people.

Write here your opinion, and in what way you are willing to invest quality time in your relationships!

Do you accept the challenge?

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