When I value myself
You know how I value myself?
I’ll talk about myself … the moment I valued myself.
It happened when I gave up everything to serve God.
Even within the work of God, apparently serving Him, I never rejected to go where God sent me…but sometimes, deep inside, I let my flesh stay in control.
That’s when, independently and by my own faith, I started to fight to become the kind of woman the Word of God teaches. I started to sacrifice, on the altar, everything that I discovered to be wrong in me.
I found flaws…quite a few actually. I started emptying myself. I did everything I could to prove to God that I was truly determined to give myself to Him, wholly and not just verbally.
I got rid of everything that I discovered to be wrong. All of my selfishness. This was until I discovered the root of all my problems. I was amazed at how many years had passed and still I hadn’t seen it! A trauma.
Let me tell you, friend …. I cried for days. But it wasn’t out of sadness, but rather, because I felt so loved. I saw God Himself reveal to me who I was. I was ashamed of everything I had been and done because of it…but at the same time, I was grateful. Grateful because it only revealed how unconditional His love truly was.
I saw who I really was and the reason why I had had so many problems. I had provoked them!
The revelation is: value yourself. From that point onwards, you will understand everything else.
We are only able to have this revelation, when we seek, incessantly, to “be” and not just “do” for God.
Before I understood this revelation … I had to “hunt” my flaws down.
Because I “hunted” … I was constantly in a watchful state.
And because I was on watch, I analised all of my actions.
And because I analised…I was also willing to uncover the truth.
No matter how much it would hurt, the truth was the only way out!
And because I was looking for the way out…I was looking for Jesus, who is the Owner of all Truth.
Problems are not synonymous with an “end”, actually, they are a great opportunity to use your faith to learn and to achieve the good that comes from it.
In other words …. The true value one gives to themself, requires:
Denying your flesh. The load that holds you back will be lifted;
Sacrificing. It irradicates your selfishness;
Hunting your flaws down. Why? Because it keeps you in spirit. This is what it means to “watch”.
Watching. Why? Because you’re waiting for your Lord.
The truth is what you should yearn for, because it sets you free.
Learning is a necessity. It shouldn’t offend, but rather, renew your mind.
Willingness to serve. It is not a burden, but a privilege to be able to “fly” to where God wants you to.
And so…everything becomes lighter and simpler, so you can glorify Him without the burden of a religion, by becoming a “doer” of the Word of God.
Gratitude and fear are always present inside me, because I saw my sin and God’s unconditional love. I can never be the same again or allow my faith to “park”, because I’ve seen, with my own eyes, the truth of His Word through His Power and Love.
My dear friend … I’ll never stop, because I saw and see how much I truly need to depend on Him. My faults and errors strengthen me to proceed onwards in true faith.