That message is not for me ….

I’m not a shy person, I always participate in church activities like, evangelizing, doing women’s meeting, with Kids Zone, and with the youth group. And in my point of view I was not giving the devil a chance to act in my life.

 
Whenever the leader’s wife spoke about shyness in the meetings, I would think to myself, “this is not my case, I’m not shy. One the contrary, I am an outgoing person and I even had problems because of it!” Because of this type of experience I decided to talk as little as possible. I thought that the less I spoke the less problems I would have. I Isolated myself, I would only call one or two friends during the month and would talk as little as possible. And what happened? My husband became my “best friend “. Obviously, men do not have the patience to listen to women’s things …

 
I felt so frustrated that I sent an email to my Big Sister telling her what was going on. Hoping she would tell me: “Don’t stop being yourself, don’t turn into a shy person …” or something like that. But she answered very clearly, “It is not about whether or not you should be yourself, but about letting God do His will inside of you.”

I realized that I wanted to change to a state less complicated by the strength of my own arm. I feared going through the same situations as before. I wanted to do what I believed was best, only I was NOT letting God change me according to His will. Even if that meant being shy … But I was not letting God mold me by using my good qualities and working on what I was laking.

That is exactly how I saw religious people were: they change only in appearance, but not within. I couldn’t believe I was doing the same! Even though I was feeling good and doing the work with a clear conscience, that made me think that I was doing great! I was not humbling myself, and I was thinking the same way the Pharisee did- by isolating myself I was being extreme, and instead of rejecting it I was practicing it more. I wasn’t resisting the devil, but instead I was resisting God.

After I discovered this, I truly surrender my own will, the change happened naturally and without fear, without worrying about what other people might say… When you truly want to change inwardly not in a forced way God acts immediately because you are not resisting Him, but surrendering everything.
 
We must watch every little details (the lion that prowls around us knows how to make the most of everything). If I do not take care of myself, I do not understand, that it’s not worth being or not being, having a virtue or a talent if we do not allow God to use us according to His will.
You know who will end up using it against you, right it?
 
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings. 1 Peter 5:6-9