Going back to the Past – Part 1

Many years ago, with only a few weeks of being recently married, a family member asked me if I ever wanted to have kids.

I said no immediately! And I added that my husband and I were even thinking about him getting a vasectomy. And when she heard this, she rapidly responded, “Viviane, you are too young. You need to give it some time to see you if you won’t regret it later.”

When I heard that piece of advice, it was like a “bucket of cold water” washed over my decision. Later, I agreed with her, and I went to speak with my Júlio, my husband.

When Júlio heard this, he told me decidedly and firmly, “I am going to do a vasectomy. Like it or not, I am going to do it. This is my Isaac!”

I was only 17 years old. I only had 2 years as an assistant. I had wonderful experiences as an assistant. Experiences with God through my reading the Bible, in my prayers in favor of “being” for God. I would seek Him alone in my room; I had that alone time.

My faith did not depend on any pastor or anyone. I was independent in my belief, inspiration, orientation, etc…

I was an audacious assistant.
I counseled, prayed for people who manifested with demons, and even interviewed people in the small room beside the altar. And I accompanied those who I was permitted to accompany.

And I loved everything that I did. I confess that I arrived at home very hungry, happy, and singing: “I’m so hungry…all I want to see is food.”

I was so skinny, that you would look at me and feel pity. But from the moment I became an assistant, I would go early to church, I worked in whatever department I was told, and I would not receive anything; I was there just to be there.

The Holy Spirit guided me to truth. I had a lot to learn during that time, and to this day, I still need to learn. But I would not feel alone at any moment.

I had marvelous moments in my faith. But even so, I was still affected by the opinion of my family member. I tried to persuade Júlio to desist in his decision, but it was not possible. When he is decided, he is “grounded”. No one moves him.

And as unbelievable as this sounds, there I was, in thought, telling myself, “Well, he says he doesn’t want children, but if I want kids, all I have to do is ask God and He will make it happen!”

I was calm because I recognized God’s power, because everything that I have asked, He has done.

I didn’t know anything: how much God would teach me about what existed in me.

Wait for the next post and accompany this phase of “My Diary” where I will be talking about my past.