Going back to the Past – 17th Part

My Vow

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In Texas, I was already 21 years old and I was discovering myself bit by bit. I was aware of what the word of  had God brought me  but I still had to make many things into reality in my life . I was still a “baby” in the faith.

I was very fearful but at that time I didn’t even realize that these were insignificant problems I was going though; however, it showed my spiritual immaturity that  I had so much to learn.

We stayed in Brownsville for a few months and then went back to Houston, and we stayed in the church for one week… then our luggage arrived after us. We only took our clothes and nothing else. At the time we were in Brownsville and we had no place to live, we had to leave our two cats with a pastor’s wife until we found a home. But this pastor’s wife had two children, a girl and a boy, who fell in love with our cats and unfortunately we had to “let go” of our pets.

We took our luggages to our new home and church. When I got to our new home, I organized my clothes and started my housework chores. After when I finished I went to the supermarket to buy some food. Hours later we were told that we were coming to California.

We left everything behind and followed the route back to California. We returned to my parents house and lived together again. And that’s when the war began within me: not because we are living with my parents but it was the distance from our house to the church was so long. We were at the headquarters for awhile, but then a new church was inaugurated which was much closer to the house about one hour away.

Before the inauguration, I organized the whole church, the kitchen, Sunday school, office, etc. We cleaned and left everything ready and started the church in a neighborhood in Reseda.

In this church there were plenty of rooms, offices, classrooms, and even a warehouse. Before we came there, it was also used as a church (nothing to do with ours) and they had left things  behind inside the building, things like: kitchen utensils, etc. I did a deep-clean and got rid of  the unnecessary things. That’s why everywhere I go, I always do my best to be practical and leave the place clean and organized.

We started working on growing the church. We really wanted to make disciples: have people baptized with the Holy Spirit. But the process is not from one moment to another: it takes a lot of surrender and having the disposition to do so.

I would take my “lunch bag” to church, and I devoted all my attention to Júlio’s needs. Together we were living in the faith.

I remember that at this point, the pastors’ meetings were held at this church. And always after the pastors’ meetings, Júlio and I stayed back talking about the meeting, nourishing our thoughts with the Word we received.

I was honestly always very thoughtful after the meeting. Each message was stronger than the other. And I thought within myself, “Wow, how many are not receiving what I’m receiving?!” I felt very honored to be a part of these wonderful revelations that transmitted life.

In this church, Júlio began to be responsible for making live radio programs from 1:00 am to 2:00 am. And he would arrive home around 3am every day.

The days that I didn’t go with him, we were distant and “apart” physically. It was very difficult for me to stay away from him and from the Work and in the interim, I often murmured for not living nearby.

After some time living through that, murmuring because of the distance of everything, the Holy Spirit reminded me of my vow that I made before getting married. The vow I made to God was “that if He gave me a man of God that I would put him on the altar to serve Him”. The same vow that Hannah (Samuel’s mother) did.

When the Holy Spirit reminded me of this, I started to observe and remain silent and not complain about the distance. I began to watch the way I spoke. And things started not being as much of a  “burden” as before.

Amazing! I didn’t have any idea to what it meant “being” for God but when we have the Holy Spirit, He always directs us. No one listened to my complaints, but God did hear them and He reminded me of things that I had said to Him; in fact, the vow that I made.

That vow was something I had to learn to fulfill, because when we make vows with God we cannot play with it! They have to be fulfilled. And everyone who has this fear knows the issue of being someone that fulfills the Word for God.

Whether you are  young or  more mature, it doesn’t matter to God. The important thing is to fulfill what is said to Him. Because that is how you measure the fear that someone has for God,  and how important He is to you.

Fulfilling the vow made me be silent in the face of difficulties. To look with good eyes; I needed to learn. Learning is not talking but submitting myself with satisfaction to the situation I was living. In fact, talking is easy, but fulfilling vows and being someone that keeps your word and obedient is not as easy,

I was now fulfilling a vow I made with God after years of marriage. God tests me, and I either fail or I pass.