“Miss Perfect” Complex II

Viviane Freitas

  • 2
  • Mar
  • 2013

“Miss Perfect” Complex II

  • 2
  • Mar
  • 2013

First stop, the hotel in Tel Aviv for a short rest and to put the groups in order.

My roommate, a girl from Guatemala, who was supposed to be with me during the whole trip, isn’t there.

I’d soon discover that she wasn’t able to board the flight to Israel. When I go down and check the list of coaches, I realize that I’m in a group where I don’t know anybody. We would do the same routes and go to the same hotels and restaurants. This placed me far away from people that I already knew, and my friend. Yes, I had a friend! And it had been months since I’d last seen and talked with her. I had so much to tell and had even made plans to spend time with her there … close, without the usual rush we find ourselves in when we do meet normally.

At that moment, I already knew that option was no longer possible. Being on another bus already frustrated all my plans, because I knew that would be where we’d spend most of our time, going across cities and to the most important places.

The great story I had imagined the trip would be, disintegrated in seconds. Off I went to have a word with the tour guide, to somehow try and change buses. He says there’s only one seat on bus number one, but there were three of us. His tone of voice makes it very clear that I am being a “pain”. How annoying!

Of course, at that moment, a dilemna started to build in my mind and the sense of responsibility spoke louder: My conscience cried out and the shame of having made such a request came down.
Why did you come on the trip? Was it to do what you want? Shame on you! You are responsible for them and you should be an example. You will not be selfish!” – This is me fighting against myself, and now I’m on full alert, monitoring all my actions with a magnifying glass.
“My God, forgive me! I know that I wasn’t even supposed to be here, it is a priviledge. I am here for You. Make something happen inside me. I didn’t come here as a mere tourist and I don’t want to do my own will. I surrender my all to you, but I also want Your all

A lady who belongs to my country’s group approaches, interrupting my inner battle:
“Will we be with the English group? I don’t understand anything they say.”
“Do not worry, ma’am, they will translate everything.”
“Oh ok. Come take a picture with us then!”

Pictures?! I’ve never really liked being in pictures, it seems like I end up uglier in all of them than in real life. The only kind of pictures I enjoy are of landscapes, places and of other people. Pictures of me? No thanks!

“Let me take a picture of you, girls…”

She insists, so I reluctantly join in. Soon after we sat together on the bus, but that does nothing for my loneliness…she ends up falling asleep. We’re on the road to Jerusalem. Looking out the window, I notice all the valleys and details of the landscape that God chose.

Among all of creation, He made it special! It has a splendid beauty.

A visible beauty?

No, nothing spectacular, nothing that dazzles the eyes. But there in silence, lonely, though on a bus full of very special women, I began to seek and really desire, to see what God saw in that land. To see with His eyes. He can see even what isn’t there yet. He found in me a land that had no beauty, and sowed in it a person who had to bear fruits!
At that point, my “living hell” in the Holy Land began…

Don’t worry, I’ll tell you more next week!

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