From Mother to Mother : Organization, Limits, and Correction
The first thing I learned about autism was that my son needed organization. He had the need to feel safe and this would only be possible if he knew what would happen throughout his day.
Today, I think that every child needs an organized day, with limits and times so that she can grow in a healthy way and respecting thus the space of everyone in the society.
If every human being needs limitations, rules to follow, instructions and guidance in order not to get lost, imagine a child?
Growing up without all this, would make the child to be a youth and possibly an inconsequential adult, with the thought that he/she can do things in the way and at the time that he/she desires, because they do not know how to respect authorities, they can not manage to be subject to the norms … That is, he will have difficulty working in any company, in following God, in receiving guidance, in building a family, and in everything they want to do. Because for him everything will always be out of order, and this error started way back in a disorderly childhood, without limits. Something that we don’t want for our children, right?
So let’s start now to change our lives, organize so that we can teach them to organize themselves as well. Know that “the lack of organization shows a lack of life with God”!!
Everything in the kingdom of God and His work has order, and to be part of it we need to be organized.
So here are some organizing tips for you:
– Make a plan of your week before it starts, that is, write down on your calendar all that you need to do, including time for your children;
* I do the same and I also have a monthly chart on the door of my fridge (refrigerator), where I mark the commitments of the entire family, so no one forgets and one reminds the other.
– Get up a little earlier to take care of yourself, read the Word of God and make your first prayer while everyone is still asleep. Believe me, these few minutes will make all the difference in your life and of your whole family, as it will give you an alternative to taking wrong attitudes. And early in the morning, every at home will also have a calm mother who is full of the Holy Spirit, that will guide and bless them to start a day of battles;
– Whenever possible have family meals, where everyone sits at the table, pray together and have this communion;
– Take the time that your children are in school to do your work and activities, so that when they are free, you can give them attention;
– Separate just some daily duties. And yes, you can do it all and still leave some time for you, to do something you like and that relaxes you—even if it is just once a week;
– Always be attentive to the schoolwork and in contact with teachers to know how your child is in class, behaving during breaks, etc..;
* An attentive mother can instruct better and give advice before the problems occur.
– Supervise internet and phones always!;
– Never diminish your husband’s authority in front of your children, even if he is wrong. If your husband is wrong, then talk to him alone and then let him correct his own error. Teach your children to respect him, because if they know how to respect the father who they are able to see, they will know how to respect God-Father who they do not see;
– Set up a time for everyone to be in bed asleep. Therefore, you will have time every day just for you and your husband;
– At the end of the day, it is very important to put them to sleep, read a verse with them, talk and meditate together on it, pray and lay your hands on your children and bless them. God gave you this authority and it is up to you to exercise it.
Now some organizing tips for your kids:
– Organize his week, where it must have at least the bedtime, wake up, and eating hours;
– After a certain age, taking care of their room;
– Order with schedules and activities, that is, first the obligations and then the fun;
– TV, games, “video game” and internet I am always attentive “to all that he is seeing and doing, and only for a few times a week and lasting at most two hours;
* My son plays “video games” only 1 time per week and for two hours; he does not “browse” the internet alone, he enters the school’s site to do work and watch children’s videos like the “The Band of Faith” only for two hours and with my ears open. I believe that all the care is little and I do not use this kind of “escape” to occupy Gabi so I can do other things I need to do.
– Sport activity is always very important for a child’s development, because in sport as well as wasting necessary energy and not growing in a sedentary lifestyle, they learn rules and learn how to think in group settings, thus losing individualism. It is very good if you can do it at least twice a week;
– A child needs school days, days in the Church and day with parents as a family. These three gatherings are the basis for healthy growth and must be on their weekly schedule;
– Playing with their friends on the street or in the building without the care of an adult, never!! Children have no sense of responsibility or of danger, much less do they have the condition to take care of themselves, so as child they should be treated and cared for as such;
* My son plays with his friends here at home. We have an afternoon during the week where he can invite a friend that wishes to come over, they play while I care for them and I always take the opportunity to teach something to Gabi through the games. If possible, I take them to the field to play or to the pool. And he only goes to the home of three friends, whose families I know and that I am sure that they will play inside under the mother’s care.
– Losses: early they must learn that wrong attitudes always damage, even though forgiven, they will suffer from the bad fruits of that error.
These are just some tips that we use here at home and they have helped us a lot, but they are not rules, ok!
Maybe you might have found them an exaggeration, but if you do not put limits on your child’s life since they are little, life and evil will take care of doing this and you can be sure—it will be the hard way!
And in the same way I ask you: “If there are no rules and limits, how can there be correction?” Many mothers ask me what is the right way to correct a child and I answer: “. The right way exists and it is in the word of God”
We’ll talk about this next week … But to start off, we need to impose rules and limits so that we can then correct, when one of them is broken.
The limits should start at home and be talked about and decided between the parents.
Hope this helps, see you next week.