From children to Parents : No moral value
Talking to some colleagues and listening to their testimonies and life stories, we learn much about the experience between parents and children.
We realize how the past has influenced their personality as an adult, and often is what they identify themselves with today. And this time, I do not mean “bad baggage”, but I’m talking about the strength that each one took from these past experiences and, once they become allied to God, rebuilt their present and future to be immune to this past.
There is no doubt that the world is evil and that humanity is increasingly destructive, including man to himself, which inevitably extends to the base of society: Family. But even if the person professes a faith and battles to to maintain their own conscious clear and to educate their children in the midst of this generation they should never overlook: having dialogue with their children.
As I have told you a few posts ago, I saw my family disintegrate before my eyes, but there are positive and rewarding episodes that I keep until today and have learned life lessons from: Conversations with my father during meals. There, my brother and I often heard: “We must always be honest with each other, and you should never lie…” “If you let anyone influence you, you will lose your power of decision…” among several other key teachings.
You know what? This did not prevent me to go through what I needed to, to learn, but one thing I can’t complain about: the lack of dialogue. Where they not only tried to alert me, but were there to listen, understand my needs, and support me in my frustrations.
“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22: 6)
Can I be honest with you? Currently, the prevailing image of a household is every man to themselves with their technological device on hand. Parents are so tired from their daily struggles that they thank the video game in their children’s hands, which keeps them busy while they do housework and chores. “Wonders of technology” you may say! But unfortunately, while modern technology has helped to serve as a support for the most basic tasks and meet important needs it has unfortunately passed its limits, especially within the family.
For that reason, parents and caregivers so often complain, “My son doesn’t listen to me; he doesn’t respect anyone; he doesn’t seem to understand what I say…” Maybe if you speak the language of the last game you bought him, he might understand you better.
With this I’m not saying we don’t have to adapt to innovation, of course not! I, myself work daily on a laptop with Internet access (essential), where God also gives me the opportunity to develop my evangelistic work. But just as I must set a limit to this “access”, because I have other priorities, parents should also take note on the extent to which technology is “educating” their children.
Think I am exaggerating? Want an example? What punishments hurt children more, nowadays? Not to go out? Not to go play or go over their friends house? Not to go for a walk next weekend, or play football? No! Not at all! Mostly, children and young people have a “tantrum” because the privilege of playing video games or Internet access is taken away from them. And when parents realize this, they will see how attached to these “toys” they have allowed them to become.
So parents, be ALERT! If you want to have moral value to talk to your children, it’s in your hands to make use of the authority which was, yes, granted by God which should not be exceeded, but also not underestimated. You can’t just punish them without, above all, taking on the role of friend, companion, colleague and mediator. And this can’t be accomplished by staring at a computer screen or with a remote control in your hand. None of us can. We are human, and therefore, depend on relationships. We are not virtual beings! Your child doesn’t receive education from a television, computer or a PlayStation. Please check the actual statistics of how technology can become addictive and, without fear of making a mistake, I say this destructive “power” was given by ourselves and neglectful parents.
“Internet represented a breakthrough in communication between physically distant individuals, but the phenomenon is not repeating itself with people living under the same roof. (…) The number of parents going to psychologists not knowing how to deal with teens who lose hours of sleep and study time because they are more connected to the virtual world than the real one has increased. From an expert’s point of view, the problem may be the lack of dialogue and the parents’ difficulty in imposing limits on their children. “(In, “Adolescence in a virtual world” by Claude Bornel)