Experience : Taking the bull by the horns
Ever since I turned eighteen, I became independent.
I liked working and conquering on my own without depending or waiting on anyone else to help me.
I was not only independent financially, but also in my faith, I didn’t care what anyone else thought.
However, after I got married and moved to another Country, I became completely dependent on my husband. He pretty much became my mouth and hands…
I say this because I was very timid when it came to speaking Spanish. I was afraid to speak incorrectly or to be misunderstood. I feared that people would laugh at me and therefore I was afraid to take action. I thought that I would not be accepted. So, whenever a challenge arose or there was something I had to resolve, I would pretty much live pestering my husband so that he would “help me”. Actually what I wanted was for him to do what I needed to do for myself.
Recently, I had an incident where it made me reflect and open my eyes! I was forced to the path of my independence! But this time it was my spiritual independence. I was given a new mission. I had to do a meeting for the group Mothers in Prayer and again I didn’t take action, instead I remained dependent on my husband. His reaction was to simply ignore the fact that I needed help, and there I found myself once again in front of the same problem, the same one I faced and lived for years.
I presented him with a solution and all he said to me was: when you want something, you achieve it (basically, that it was up to me to do something about it).
Honestly, I didn’t pay attention to that comment and I kept acting the same way. Until I was given another responsibility that required efficiency and urgency from my part and once again I had to relay on my husband for help, and again he acted the same way (or rather he didn’t do anything) and I became upset with him because I thought he was obligated to help me since I was always there to help him in any of his tasks.
When I received that responsibility out of the blue I had to take action and solve everything. I had to call people I didn’t know and speak Spanish, risking whether I would be understood or not. I had to find the solution so that I would meet the appointed deadline.
Once everything was completed, and thank God everything went well, without realizing that I was back on the right path, I went complaining to my husband about how upset I was because I felt like he had literally left me hanging and abandoned me when I needed him the most.
When I confronted him about it he simply replied: “I only did this to help you so that you can learn not to depend on me, you have to learn to solve your own problems, assume your responsibilities, as the saying goes: “Take the bull by the horns!” And on top of that, he finished by saying that instead of complaining I should be thanking him…
At that moment it was like God slapped me in the face and I woke up. I felt ashamed of myself. I finally realized how much I depended on my husband in these six years of marriage, and it was then that I understand the meaning of true love.
Generally we love those who please us, or those who say something that benefit us. We usually like those who support us, but we aren’t always ready to listen to those who point out our mistakes in order to correct us and who have the courage to speak the truth to our face.
And that is exactly what our God does with us every day, through His Word, in the meetings, pretty much in every situations that we face daily, because His objective is for us to face our fears and to take the bull by the horns and to become better each day.