Be the mother that your child needs
I always write: “Be the mother that your child needs,” but what does that really mean?
For a long time, I was the mother I wanted to be, what I thought was right and good for my son. I had a father that was a lieutenant in the police, that is, a general at home, and that’s how I wanted to be with my son, rigid, authoritarian, demanding … Imagine! For an autistic child’s mother to expect him to hear and do at that moment what I was asking … A horror, I feel sorry for him! However, I suffered more than him and had to “break” myself entirely, to the point of sitting down while my son squirmed in crisis, and on the ground and in tears saying, “Okay, I surrender myself to you! “
For love, for loving him and seeing that my wrong posture would only take me to lose my son; miss the chance to get close to him and be able to help him. That’s how I decided to totally change my life.
My standards were torn away, my “guesses” and my knowing, because I recognized that they weren’t helping me. With my mind and a heart empty of myself, I could then receive God’s direction that would really help my son. So I met Him and discovered my son!
Everything about me has changed, the way of speaking the way of looking at Gabi. Then I understood his needs and I was able to work in them so that they can be met.
After all, if we are unique, each different from others, how can I want to use the same educational methods that were used on me? Or be the same way with all my children? No!
Each person is one way and has their specific needs.
This was my “secret” as a mother: Deny myself, stop doing what I wanted to do and be, so I could go down to the visual and mental level of my son, and then touch him so that we can become one. It’s exactly what I mean when I tell you here: “Be a mother that your child needs.”