An experience as a Pastor’s wife

Whenever we go to a new place we analyze our surroundings, meet the people, and try to understand their needs.

This is how I faced this new challenge given to me I looked for ways get closer to the people.
I began to create opportunities to get to know them and for them to get to know me. God was showing me how to, every opportunity was valuable and I gave to them what I was receiving from God Himself. But those opportunities weren’t enough; they weren’t the answers or results I was looking for. They simply weren’t the results of my belief, and the more I “gave” the more I wanted to see the results. That’s when the “problems” began even more in these people’s lives, there were so many people with so many problems in only a few weeks that I was impressed, I began questioning: “My God what am I doing wrong?” “What do You want from me?” “Why am I unhappy with this situation?”

I looked for answers in God. I began to examine myself, to question what I was doing wrong and not what those people were doing wrong, after all, I was the one who was “feeding” these people spiritually. I was searching constantly; I was always evaluating myself because I needed to know the reason why I couldn’t see the results. I spoke to God with determination, I wanted answers, I couldn’t wait any longer… I was in lying in bed one night, but I couldn’t fall sleep because all the questions were still in my head. That was when God revealed to me the answer I was looking for it was so strong. He showed me that I was looking at this situation wrongly. The vision I had of these people and their problem wasn’t going to bring any results. It wasn’t a vision that will bring into existence what didn’t exist and when I stopped to think about it and realized how I was thinking about everything, I began to SEE, my vision was no longer a natural one, but it became God’s vision. Yes, there were several problems and several people, but they were enlightened with understanding because they heard the voice of faith and examined themselves and decided to start doing the right thing and began to fight to change. But, that’s not enough I want more, I have a well-defined goal. But, I can already see the Kingdom of God in this place, in these people’s lives, and this was only possible because I first searched within myself.

When I examined and pay attention to how I was seeing this situation it gave me a supernatural strength to be brave, to bring life to existence, the life I have and believe in with all my strength which they should also have. I could only be attentive to this because I searched, I went out to hunt for the answers to my questions.

“The lamp of the body is the eye. If therefore your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in you is darkness, how great is that darkness!” (Matthew 6:22, 23 NKJV)