- 18
- Apr
- 2016
Returning to the Past – 36th Part
- 18
- Apr
- 2016
Vera and Luis were again happy. Of course, with all this, they learned to value their parents more than before.
I remember a certain situation that marked my mother and I. One day Vera saw the woman who was taking care of them at the time we were separated, although the woman was somewhat distant, Vera began to show a certain fear toward her.
Vera was terrified when she saw the woman. In despair she said, “Mom, Grandma … Do not let her take us.”
Vera was the oldest, and was the one I had more access to. It was with her that I talked more. She gave me all the attention, which made me be “in love” with her even more. I taught her how to pray and ask God for the situation with their papers to be resolved.
She was very beautiful! She still is!
She learned how to pray, she paid attention during the church meetings, she sometimes even knew the answers to the questions that Julio asked during the meeting. It was funny because sometime I was still thinking about what the answer would be, and Vera would already say the answer.
She made me feel very proud of her; she absorbed all the teachings. She really valued them.
Attending the church meetings came so naturally for her that sometimes it “got in the way” because she really prayed to God. She would put her little hands in her heart and prayed loudly, with her eyes closed, saying the words I had taught her to say: “God, cleanse my heart. Do not let my heart get dirty. Teach me to obey. I do not want to do bad things, God.” She prayed something like this.
A Pastor’s wife who had just arrived in California was impressed by the way she participated in the meetings. But over time, Vera saw the daughter of this wife, who did not pray like her, and it became “funny” to people because she was a child. Then I saw, little by little, Vera deviating from my goal.
She began to build a friendship with this little girl, who was also a child, but did not have the same behavior as Vera. And gradually I saw Vera was “enjoying” this friendship and it began to affect the way she prayed in the church.
I observed all of this and kept it as something I had to work on with Vera.
When Vera was not around her little friend, she was all “mine” and so I easily influenced her. But when any of her little friends were around, they would turn her into another person, not out of malice, but because the little girl was a child and was not interested in adults things.
We lived far away, and so she only saw her little friend at church during the meeting or after and from there, I would loose my sacred space with her. But because Vera was only a child, I knew she had to have friends too. So I did not know what to do but watch and wait for the right time to work on her.
On the other hand, Luis was also beautiful.
He did not participate in the church meetings as Vera did. He liked to talk a lot and play. Everything was a game to him. He also had a little friend, but Luis was very boyish and did not seem to be much influenced; he lived more in his little world.
I could clearly see the difference between the two. Luis was younger and more immature. Vera was older and more responsible, but also the most easily influenced.
My goal with Vera and Luis was to be close to them, so that they could have easy access to me, so I could help them in each and every moment.
I got to play with Vera.
There were times when she met with other Pastor’s children, and there was this one in particular whom she thought was funny, or rather, cute. Normally she would be flushed with embarrassment when she was with him. I soon realized that she started to like the little boy. So later, when we were alone, I asked her: “Vera … Do you like that little boy?” And she would be embarrassed and I’d say, “There’s no problem, honey! Just tell Mom, okay? ”
I wanted to be part of her life, at every moment. I did not want to be distant or have her be afraid to talk to me. I wanted her to find in me the freedom to tell me everything and not be afraid, so I can give her good advise.
That’s how I would get close to her to be her best friend and confidant.
alwelo
19th July 2016 at 18:15
I learnt to believe and understand others
Diana Ramirez
9th June 2016 at 17:34
Creo que lo más difícil para los padres es ser capaz de entender a su hijo, porque aveces en lugar del niño sentir confíanza sienten temor. De nina, eso fue mi mayor obstáculo con mis padres, especialmente mi madre. La veia solo como una autoridad y le tenia miedo. Como adolescente, ella trató de “ser mi amiga” pero en ese momento no podía verla como eso. No podias tener esa “amistad con communicacion habierta” más era una mamá que hacia preguntasr, obenia una respuesta, y respondia con ira. Ahora la sitacion a mejorado pero sus palabras son inspiradoras para mi si un dia soy madre.
kereeditse
27th May 2016 at 14:15
it’s good to be open to the one close to so they can advice you better,it’s really an eye opener as I work with this little one
Nyaburu Agnes
27th May 2016 at 13:58
This is true love thanks,sometimes we have to understand and be patient with others to win them over.
Fihliwe racheal
29th April 2016 at 22:47
Thanks for sharing this post with us because it made me realise that whenever I get an opportunity to be negatively influenced I have to resist it , it also taught me that I have to be careful with who are hang out with.