Returning to the Past – 76th Part

I was still in London, finishing packing my things to go to Portugal.

While I was rushing to get everything done I received a gift. It was the sign, which I commented about in the last post.
There was a letter along with a package. I stopped everything I was doing to read it carefully. I don’t remember everything that was written, but a few words stuck with me: “One thing is for sure: you came to England to save me, because I was lost. The most valuable thing I have is a necklace that you gave me, and today, I give it back to show my gratitude. ”

Those words moved me a lot. I cried so much that day!
I remembered the times when I asked God to help me win souls and that horrible feeling of frustration because I didn’t see the results I was looking for. I worked exhaustively. I exercised my faith constantly, as I had never done before. I evangelized in places where no one wanted to go. I did an intense work in a brothel, where I was taking a risk for talking about Jesus. I held meetings with the assistants, organized many things, and held bazaars to meet the church needs. There were so many activities I was always busy!

But I still did not want the results to be so small. It was a confrontation to my faith! I wanted to see the fulfillment of God’s Word in my days, my life, and especially in my ministry.
And then, with just over a year in that city, I began to see what I wanted so badly. That letter was the first response to what I truly wanted to achieve: a saved soul. I keep it to this day, for it represents God’s answer to me. How many tears did I shed for this to happen!

All of this reminded me of an e-mail I wrote to my father, years before that day. I was very annoyed and told him, that my frequent prayer was: “If I am baptized with the Holy Spirit, as I believe I am, then why don’t I see any answers? I have planted Your Word, but why haven’t I seen any results? I know that not everyone is going to be saved. But Your Word says that 25% of those who hear your Word would be saved. But not even that seemed to happen! ”

Wisely, he wrote me back: “Yes, my daughter, I understand, but remember, those who sow in tears shall reap in joy.”

But after that answer my desired increased even more, I wanted more! I then realized that it wasn’t the belief in my father’s words with that verse, nor my ardent desire to win souls, that got the results that I wanted. The fulfillment of the promise only happened after my true sacrifice. I had given on the altar what God wanted, not what I thought was sacrifice.

That’s why that letter was the first sign that my sacrifice had been accepted. After that day, everything changed…