Going back to the Past – 33th Part

You know when you are waiting for something, and time doesn’t seem to pass quickly enough? That’s how I felt while I was waiting for my children.

During this waiting period, without having any date set as to when I was going to see them again, I learned many, many things.

The girl who helped me care for them was an assistant. And she went with the children to help take care of them when they left. After she left, she all of a sudden began to change and turn against me, in such a way that she did not want to work with me anymore.

Much was said against me. Honestly I can’t even remember what those things were, but certainly it wasn’t something that I could overlook or not take seriously, this made me seek help in God.

I went to the bishop that was in charge and told him everything. He told me that the problem was not in me, but in the “assistant”. However, inside of me I did not accept that someone had such boldness to talk about me. After all, what gave her the audacity to talk like that? In a way, I also found myself having flaws and not being perfect.

I spoke to Julio, and told him to baptize me, and so, in the pool, I was baptized. Assuming my sinful ways I went with the intention of being redeemed of my sins. Even though the assistant was wrong, it was not enough to cover my mistake.

I truly was not looking at her mistake, only at mine.
But, because of my action, this made her also want to be baptized in the water.

I sought God with sincerity and thirst. I saw I was being selfish because when the children left, I did not send their best clothes with them, after all it was the clothes I cared so dearly for, and bought with our blood. The reason I did not send them the clothes was because I feared that they would not take care of them properly and that they would forget their “mother”.

A major problem arose because of this. I remember exactly the day when my mom talked to me about it:

“Daughter, do not be like that. Give them what they are asking for. Do not be selfish!”

You know, my mother’s words touched me deeply. So much so that I wrote a letter to the person responsible apologizing and mailed it along with their clothes and a bouquet of flowers.

I sent all the children’s clothes that I had kept.

I understood that pain makes you take carnal actions out of our own defense.

No wonder Jesus said:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. But I tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. If anyone wants to sue you and take away your tunic, let him have your cloak also. And whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two. Give to him who asks you, and from him who wants to borrow from you do not turn away.” (Mt.5: 39-42)

I had so much to learn, my God!
My defenses were a sign of selfishness. That’s why now I understand this verse. When we are being “bombarded” and feel “wronged”, we end up listening to the feelings that makes us act in a way that is so immature and so shameful.

The flaws I was finding, along the way, were making me get close to God in a very special way.

My mother did not say much, but the spirit that was behind those words was life to my mortal flesh.

See the important role that we can play in other people’s lives. My mother’s role was key, because she not only said those words, but she lives them. She gives without expecting anything in return.

There are men and women of God who formed me behind this story, which I’m very grateful for.