Experience : Why I didn’t get into Godllywood?
Why? Why? Why?
While you are sad, the answers don’t come, if you are acting like the victim and feeling misunderstood, you will also not get them, that was the first lesson I learned from that No.
So I started thinking about my daily life … on what I did, on who I was … God was not accepting my offering to Him.
There, I stood without the ground under my feet, worse than not being accepted in the group, was seeing that I was not making myself be chosen by God. Remember I told you that at the beginning I worked so hard, but I did not feel fulfilled?
I was seeing my husband develop, but I was still stationary. The problems were always problems, and not opportunities to develop.
And now, what am I going to do?
Given that picture I made a decision: – If I don’t serve to help, than I serve to learn!!!
I didn’t even want to know if I was there as the wife of the pastor responsible for the country, I was willing to fix what was wrong with me, and be molded by Him.
I gathered all the wives and told them everything I was going through, and told them that I was willing to apply together with the girls, I would do the Rush and learn together with them. To my surprise they decided to do the same.
After a while, there I was at the meeting of the applicants, alongside with the young ladies, I took the sign-up sheet and listened carefully to everything that the wife was explaining, I did not feel humiliated or embarrassed—humiliation was remaining in that situation.
One of the girls I was taking care of came happily to ask me if I would be her Big Sister, and I, with no shame, said “no”, I was there to apply along with her.
That day I did something that I will keep with me for the rest of my life: before winning any person, my soul is the one that needs to be won every day, before wanting to take care of someone I have to be taken care of, my limitations are to be resolved and not camouflaged behind what I do. When you understand this, you are willing to return to the beginning and fix what needs to be repaired.
Well, there was one day left to the long-awaited Rush interview, finally this day was coming, suddenly the phone rings, and when I mention that I would be interviewed for the Rush with the girls … I only hear from the other side, “no”! “You will have to wait, soon the Rush with the wives in Spain will begin and then, yes, you can apply.”
A “No” again.
But now something was different inside me, there was no problem in having to wait; because of all those sad discoveries that I had made about myself, I began to fight with God, and take attitudes to become someone different, someone who did not only do, but now, I sought to be one with Him.
How long did I have to wait? How did the day finally come when I got into Godllywood?
Next Post, you will know how this story ended;)
A hug and until then.