Experience : The Shadow Woman, could it be that you are one?
Did you ever have the feeling of being in a place, but it seems that you are invisible?
Nobody notices your presence, and when you perceive that, there is a question: Why?
I had that feeling during many years, many questions surrounded my thoughts, but in reality I was scared to discover the answers.
So it was much easier, to keep living inside my box, just my own world, where there were no confrontations, challenges, new things… But, one thing existed: frustration. As much as I worked, I never felt fulfilled.
I lived like that for a long time, until the day I got tired of it, and I began to search for answers…
How can you be married to the man of your dreams, work doing what you love best, be surrounded by people who wish you good, and even so with all this feel unhappy?
This was the question that would not hush inside of me, I had everything, but wasn´t fulfilled, why?
When I look back at my pictures from that time, something essential was missing in all of them: a smile, it never appeared, I had a distant look, I was a person of few words, and of no friends…
I accepted being a shadow, everybody knew my husband, and I was Rodrigo’s wife, I had no identity nor personality, I limited myself to live day by day.
Did I have faith? Yes…
Was I grateful for the accomplishments? The answer is also yes… But something was missing, fire was missing, effort was missing, and the main thing, REVOLT was missing.
What is faith worth, if we don´t think? What is adding worth, if you don´t multiply? What is a title worth if you don´t make use of your authority?
Those thoughts surfaced, and it was only then that the revolt was born, my husband was a Leader…and me? I was just one more in the midst of the multitude…
How to change that?
Annulled and insecure was all that I knew how to be, it was like that for years, how can it be different now?
Maybe you ask yourself that question, and because of lack of answers, you keep living in the shadow day after day.
On the next post, know how I stopped being a shadow and grew like a giant, crushing the smallness of the eyes in which I always saw myself through…
To be continued…