Returning to the Past – 36th Part
- 18
- Apr
- 2016
Vera and Luis were again happy. Of course, with all this, they learned to value their parents more than before.
I remember a certain situation that marked my mother and I. One day Vera saw the woman who was taking care of them at the time we were separated, although the woman was somewhat distant, Vera began to show a certain fear toward her.
Vera was terrified when she saw the woman. In despair she said, “Mom, Grandma … Do not let her take us.”
Vera was the oldest, and was the one I had more access to. It was with her that I talked more. She gave me all the attention, which made me be “in love” with her even more. I taught her how to pray and ask God for the situation with their papers to be resolved.
She was very beautiful! She still is!
She learned how to pray, she paid attention during the church meetings, she sometimes even knew the answers to the questions that Julio asked during the meeting. It was funny because sometime I was still thinking about what the answer would be, and Vera would already say the answer.
She made me feel very proud of her; she absorbed all the teachings. She really valued them.
Attending the church meetings came so naturally for her that sometimes it “got in the way” because she really prayed to God. She would put her little hands in her heart and prayed loudly, with her eyes closed, saying the words I had taught her to say: “God, cleanse my heart. Do not let my heart get dirty. Teach me to obey. I do not want to do bad things, God.” She prayed something like this.
A Pastor’s wife who had just arrived in California was impressed by the way she participated in the meetings. But over time, Vera saw the daughter of this wife, who did not pray like her, and it became “funny” to people because she was a child. Then I saw, little by little, Vera deviating from my goal.
She began to build a friendship with this little girl, who was also a child, but did not have the same behavior as Vera. And gradually I saw Vera was “enjoying” this friendship and it began to affect the way she prayed in the church.
I observed all of this and kept it as something I had to work on with Vera.
When Vera was not around her little friend, she was all “mine” and so I easily influenced her. But when any of her little friends were around, they would turn her into another person, not out of malice, but because the little girl was a child and was not interested in adults things.
We lived far away, and so she only saw her little friend at church during the meeting or after and from there, I would loose my sacred space with her. But because Vera was only a child, I knew she had to have friends too. So I did not know what to do but watch and wait for the right time to work on her.
On the other hand, Luis was also beautiful.
He did not participate in the church meetings as Vera did. He liked to talk a lot and play. Everything was a game to him. He also had a little friend, but Luis was very boyish and did not seem to be much influenced; he lived more in his little world.
I could clearly see the difference between the two. Luis was younger and more immature. Vera was older and more responsible, but also the most easily influenced.
My goal with Vera and Luis was to be close to them, so that they could have easy access to me, so I could help them in each and every moment.
I got to play with Vera.
There were times when she met with other Pastor’s children, and there was this one in particular whom she thought was funny, or rather, cute. Normally she would be flushed with embarrassment when she was with him. I soon realized that she started to like the little boy. So later, when we were alone, I asked her: “Vera … Do you like that little boy?” And she would be embarrassed and I’d say, “There’s no problem, honey! Just tell Mom, okay? ”
I wanted to be part of her life, at every moment. I did not want to be distant or have her be afraid to talk to me. I wanted her to find in me the freedom to tell me everything and not be afraid, so I can give her good advise.
That’s how I would get close to her to be her best friend and confidant.
Estella Arroyo
29th April 2016 at 20:28
Thanks for sharing your experience how to get close to a person and help them in order they can trust you and ask for a advice/help.
Ligia
28th April 2016 at 12:17
One of the difficult tasks in Life is becoming a parent. Our goal should always be to teach our children the paths of Jesus so they can learn and walk in it but we also have to have dialogue with them and have fun it’s important to have a balance so to our children they can see us as someone that cares about them overall!
thando
27th April 2016 at 21:57
Being a good parent is to always have unconditional love for your child and always be there for her no matter what. Thank you for sharing
Sandrah
27th April 2016 at 9:23
Thanks Mrs Vivi , your experiences are very helpful to me as a mother. I’m learning and practicing .
Jacqueline Deus
26th April 2016 at 23:07
Being a parent, I’ve always made sure my children know that they can always come to be and talk to me about everything. I rather them come to then to go to someone else who might not have the best interest in them. Being approachable is also very important. Some parents are so mean to their children that they are afraid to talk to them. That leads to issues in life.
Karen Aranda
26th April 2016 at 16:59
Parents have to be there for their kids and find freedom to talk to you. We are influenced by what we see and who we are with.