Tornando al Passato – 58ª Parte

Viviane Freitas

  • 18
  • Ott
  • 2016

Tornando al Passato – 58ª Parte

  • 18
  • Ott
  • 2016

Sacrificare tutti i vestiti che avevo, non é stato per niente facile.

Dovevo confrontare la realtà che dovevo vivere dovuto al sacrificio. E la realtà, é che ora non avevo nessun vestito per uscire dalla stanza. Andavo in chiesa, sempre con l’uniforme. E uscivo per la strada, con l’uniforme da collaboratrice.

Il sacrificio doveva confrontare anche i miei concetti. Fin dalla mia infanzia, mia madre ci vestiva sempre con i migliori vestiti che avevamo per andare alle riunioni della chiesa. E ora, non avendo niente, mi sentivo imbarazzata.

Pian piano, ho comprato nuovi vestiti più giovanili, che era il modo più economico per comprare poiché in un certo modo doveva essere tutto investito, incluso la riparazione della guaina, ecc. . . Tuttavia quanto più compravo, non avevo nessun piacere con nessun vestito. In realtà mi mancava ciò che avevo. Sembrava che i soldi del mondo non potevano comprare ciò che avevo, nel mio punto di vista.

I vestiti che compravo, era di una categoria inferiore rispetto a quello che avevo, poiché non avevo nessuna condizione per comprare qualcosa di meglio. Dovevo costruire tutto di nuovo. I vestiti che compravo erano sempre una camicetta e tute. Era tutto ciò che potevo comprare in quell’epoca.

In realtà, quando mi trovavo con le mogli, ben sistemate, mi sentivo molto in imbarazzo. Ora era il momento di vedere cosa avevano e io no. Questo in un certo modo, era qualcosa che avevo bisogno di passare. Dopotutto, il mio egoismo doveva essere confrontato.

Incredibile che prima di compiere il voto, avevo donato alcuni vestiti  che avevano perso il mio interesse. Ora nella situazione che mi trovavo, i vestiti che prima erano insignificanti iniziarono ad essere belli.

Sembra una stupidaggine per chi legge questo diario, ma per me, è stata una fase di apprendimento e confronti con il mio egoismo. Io non sono perfetta, e sicuramente la mia vanità, è stata fracassata.

Per far crollare ancora di più il mio egoismo, ho preso tutti i vestiti che mi piacevano di più e li ho abbinati così avrebbero combinato bene. Poiché se le persone avessero comprato un bel capo ma non sapevano usarlo, non avrebbe solleticato il mio ego. Questa era la realtà! Allora io stessa, ho costruito i look per le persone.

Questo mi contrariava ancora di più, ma sapevo che era necessario. Ne avevo bisogno. Ho imparato tanto fin dal giorno che ho sacrificato. Ho imparato, a non importarmi tanto con la mia vanità. Ho cominciato a dare importanza di più alla Parola viva dentro di me che solo conoscenza.

In un certo modo, é stato ottimo aver passato per questo. Dopotutto, il sacrificio, ci insegna, ci toglie le cose meschine che apprezziamo. Solo chi riesce a rinunciare di fatto e in verità, riesce a capirlo.

E vedo che é sempre necessario, imparare. E molte volte rinunciare le cose materiali, perché sennò diventiamo sottilmente materialista.

Ogni volta che ho sacrificato qualcosa, che era di valore per me, quello ha perso il valore. Oggi se uso qualcosa, é per qualche necessità ma non é più qualcosa preoccupante. Grazie a Dio per i sacrifici che impariamo nella Chiesa Universale e nella Bibbia.

Série: Il Mio Diario

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