Tornando al Passato – 46ª Parte

Viviane Freitas

  • 19
  • Lug
  • 2016

Tornando al Passato – 46ª Parte

  • 19
  • Lug
  • 2016

Dopo alcuni giorni in Brasile, sono tornata a New York per prendere le mie valige, per proseguire verso lo stato dove siamo stati trasferiti.

In quella settimana che stavo andando ad Atlanta, ho letto un versetto nel quale mi sono aggrappata con “unghie e denti”, o meglio, nel quale mi sono avvolta. Anche se erano passati giorni e settimane, dopo le perdite, non era facile gestire tutti i sentimenti che mi tentavano di sedurre. Ero, a volte, confusa, siccome nemmeno sapevo dire a Dio cosa stava succedendo. E quanto più mi “travolgevano” i conflitti, più mi alleavo alla Parola di Dio come rifugio. E questa mi dava forza e “tamponava” il dolore, in modo tale che iniziavo a vivere in modo razionale e i sentimenti sparivano.

E il versetto era questo:

Abbiate cura di mettere in pratica tutti i comandamenti che oggi vi do, affinché viviate, moltiplichiate ed entriate ad occupare il paese che l’Eterno giurò di dare ai vostri padri. Ricordati di tutta la strada che l’Eterno, il tuo DIO, ti ha fatto fare in questi quarant’anni nel deserto per umiliarti e metterti alla prova, per sapere quello che c’era nel tuo cuore e se tu osserveresti o no i suoi comandamenti.
Così egli ti ha umiliato, ti ha fatto provar la fame, poi ti ha nutrito di manna che tu non conoscevi e che neppure i tuoi padri avevano mai conosciuto, per farti comprendere che l’uomo non vive soltanto di pane, ma vive di ogni parola che procede dalla bocca dell’Eterno.
Deuteronomio 8:1-3

Siamo quindi andati ad Atlanta, Georgia. Era l’anno 2000. E siamo andati a lavorare con l’idioma inglese.
Ad Atlanta c’era già un nucleo che era fatto in portoghese. E c’era un pastore responsabile per questo lavoro. È stata questa coppia che ci ha ricevuti in aeroporto. Siamo andati a vivere con loro.

Cominciare tutto dal niente, non è facile. Abbiamo “girato” per alcuni giorni Atlanta per trovare un locale per aprire la chiesa. Andavamo con la macchina del pastore, andavamo ore e ore in macchina. Nel frattempo, suonavano canzoni nella radio, le quali mi facevano ricordare i miei figli. Era in quell’ora che iniziavo ad essere invasa da pensieri e molta nostalgia. Non eravamo tanto occupati. Il tempo in macchina non mi lasciava trattenere le lacrime.

In quest’epoca, da pochi mesi era uscito al cinema il film “Tarzan”. E la canzone che più suonava nella radio era quella di questo film. Le parole dicevano tutto ciò che c’era nel mio cuore. Quindi l’emozione esplodeva dentro del mio essere.

In questo tempo, chi “guadagnava” era l’emozione. Perché la mia mente non era tanto occupata con la Parola di Dio. Mi trovavo in ambienti dove ascoltavo canzoni, parlavo con l’altra moglie. Ma niente alimentava la mia fede. Quindi l’emozione guadagnava più spazio nella mia mente.

Leggevamo la Bibbia al mattino, e la notte pregavamo tutti insieme nell’appartamento dove vivevamo. Ma anche così, ciò che regnava nel mio essere era tutto ciò che avevo perso e soprattutto i miei figli.

La lotta che combattevo diventò più intensa in questo periodo, poiché era puro sentimento ad ogni istante, lottando contro la fede che c’era. La mancanza di andare in chiesa e di cercare; di stare attiva nella fede, mi stava facendo sentire … ancora di più.

Mi ricordo che ero tanto vulnerabile in quest’epoca, che a qualsiasi ipotesi o opinione carnale, io cedevo. Ero super debole nella fede.

Arrivò la fine dell’anno. Negli Stati Uniti loro vivono ogni stagione e anche le feste commemorative, e il più speciale è il Natale. L’epoca di Natale, ogni luogo dove vai, ascolti canzoni natalizie. Caspita, come mi commuoveva, poiché mi ricordavo l’ambiente familiare.
Mentre andavamo in macchina, il silenzio regnava, mentre vedevamo le lucine fuori dalle case, e le famiglie riunite davanti ad un albero natalizio. Le lacrime scorrevano, senza dire nessuna parola a Julio, e lui serio, lottando anche contro i suoi propri conflitti.

Non è stato facile in questo posto. Ma tutti i luoghi dove impariamo e viviamo il sacrificio, segna una storia. Nel prossimo post leggerete altre storie rilevanti che ho vissuto.

Série: Il Mio Diario

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