- 21
- Mar
- 2016
Tornando al Passato – 32ª Parte
- 21
- Mar
- 2016
Nell’epoca che stavo avendo questi problemi con la situazione dei “miei” figli, è stato nei primi mesi, del primo anno, insieme a loro.
E in quell’epoca, che ho citato nello scorso diario, Luis ancora non studiava. Solo Vera.
Poiché stavo sviluppando la mia fede durante quei momenti difficilissimi, la fede iniziò ad avere azioni da parte mia. Iniziai a vivere la fede e sono stata ispirata ad andare a scuola di Vera, almeno per vederla da lontano.
Allora, sono andata nella sua scuola durante l’intervallo. E sono andata ben mascherata affinché non mi riconoscesse perché mi avevano proibito di avere contatto con loro.
Sono andata con un cappello e occhiali oscuri.
Durante l’intervallo, sono riuscita a vedere la bambina di capelli neri tra gli altri bambini.
Sono andata senza piani personali, solo per vederla da lontano.
E nel momento che vidi Verinha, il mio cuore cominciò a saltare di allegria. Ma lei era così lontana. Allora ho chiesto a Dio: “Dio, fai che Verinha venga da questa parte, per poter vedere di maniera più nitida la sua faccina.” E all’improvviso, cosa è successo? Vera mi venne incontro.
Il mio cuore iniziò a saltare di paura e spavento: “Oh Mio Dio! E ora? Lei sta venendo! Cosa faccio?”
Vera andava all’asilo. E come sapete, c’è un recinto intorno al parco dove i bambini giocano, durante l’intervallo. Lei venne fino al recinto che ci separava e venne a parlare con me. Vera disse “Hi!” e sorrise. Appena la vidi, lei si accorse di me, allora iniziai a parlare in lacrime: “Verinha!” E allora si rese conto che ero io, ingrandì gli occhi e disse: “Mamma!”
Erano passati, credo, un mese senza vederci, e allora, in quell’esatto momento, quando mi chiamò mamma, lei mise la sua manina nel recinto per poter toccare la mia, e anch’io cercai di toccare la sua mano, ma il recinto era molto spesso. Eravamo tanto felici di vederci e, in lacrime, siamo rimaste lì, contemplandoci.
E io dissi: “Figlia, per favore, non dire che mi hai vista. Mi hanno proibito di vederci!” e allora lei mi disse: “Mamma mi hanno detto che non sei mia mamma, che voi non esistete..”
Riuscivo a vedere la sua disperazione e angoscia nel sapere che noi non esistevamo nella sua vita.
Le lacrime cadevano.. finché ho avuto l’idea di entrare per il portone e abbracciarla. Ma incredibilmente, gli altri bambini che stavano giocando, la maggioranza sono venuti e ci hanno circondati. Noi due lì ben abbracciate, non volevamo nessuno vicino. Solo noi due sapevamo quanto avevamo bisogno di quello spazio così tanto prezioso.
Tuttavia, dissi ai bambini di lasciarci da sole, e noi ci abbracciavamo e ci baciavamo. Così è stata l’altra scena dolorosa che ho vissuto. Sembrava la scena di un film, il momento che cercavamo di avvicinarci.
Allora dissi a Vera di tenere il segreto e non commentare con nessuno. E così è stato, la settimana seguente sono andata di nuovo, ma con un coniglio di peluche. E dissi: “Vera, ti porterai questo coniglietto e dirai che è stata una tua amica a dartelo. Non dire più niente.”
Dopo di questo, i miei giorni sono migliorati. Ovviamente Dio ci proporzionò quel momento insieme. Poiché non sono andata lì a disobbedire, ma solo per vederla, e Dio blindò con un momento marcante.
Sicuramente questa scena marcò la mia vita. Desiderare questi due bambini, come nessun altro da sostituire.. oltre il dolore di vederli così piccoli passare per situazioni tanto complicate. Dio sapeva di tutto.
Sicuramente quello che doveva andare male andò bene, perché non c’era nessun interesse personale e sì interesse per la loro anima. Guardando e avendo come obiettivo la loro anima. Ma.. tutto ha avuto il suo processo, che solo più tardi abbiamo iniziato a capire meglio.
Non dubitare, per quanto sia difficile il tuo dolore. Non guardare le circostanze, perché le circostanze ti fanno vittima, e per quanto tu sia vittima, questo non aiuta, perché non c’è fede.
Fede è certezza. Ed è stata per la fede che ho avuto l’opportunità di oltrepassare momenti difficili.
Carol
21 Marzo 2016 às 20:12
Che forte questo messaggio!!!!
Mi ha fatto quasi piangere leggerlo haha, non solo perché è una bellissima storia VERA, ma il più importante: quanto il Mio Dio sia perfetto in tutto quello che fa. Dio ha permesso l’incontro di loro due!! ???
Vivi ha avuto fede, ha guardato oltre la situazione anche se umanamente era impossibile riavere quei due bambini.
La fede ci fa guardare oltre.
Forte!
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