{"id":3471,"date":"2015-10-16T09:00:24","date_gmt":"2015-10-16T09:00:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.vivianefreitas.com\/en\/?p=3471"},"modified":"2015-10-14T12:23:02","modified_gmt":"2015-10-14T12:23:02","slug":"be-the-mother-that-your-child-needs","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.vivianefreitas.com\/en\/be-the-mother-that-your-child-needs\/","title":{"rendered":"Be the mother that your child needs"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I always write:<em> &#8220;Be the mother that your child needs,&#8221;<\/em> but what does that really mean?<\/p>\n<p>For a long time, I was the mother I wanted to be, what I thought was right and good for my son. I had a father that was a lieutenant in the police, that is, a general at home, and that\u2019s how I wanted to be with my son, rigid, authoritarian, demanding &#8230; Imagine! For an autistic child&#8217;s mother to expect him to hear and do at that moment what I was asking &#8230; A horror, I feel sorry for him! However, I suffered more than him and had to &#8220;break&#8221; myself entirely, to the point of sitting down while my son squirmed in crisis, and on the ground and in tears saying, <em>&#8220;Okay, I surrender myself to you! &#8220;<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>For love, for loving him and seeing that my wrong posture would only take me to lose my son; miss the chance to get close to him and be able to help him. That\u2019s how I decided to totally change my life.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>My standards were torn away, my &#8220;guesses&#8221; and my knowing, because I recognized that they weren\u2019t helping me. With my mind and a heart empty of myself, I could then receive God&#8217;s direction that would really help my son. So I met Him and discovered my son!<\/p>\n<p>Everything about me has changed, the way of speaking the way of looking at Gabi. Then I understood his needs and I was able to work in them so that they can be met.<\/p>\n<p>After all, if we are unique, each different from others, how can I want to use the same educational methods that were used on me? Or be the same way with all my children? No!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>Each person is one way and has their specific needs.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>This was my &#8220;secret&#8221; as a mother: Deny myself, stop doing what I wanted to do and be, so I could go down to the visual and mental level of my son, and then touch him so that we can become one. It&#8217;s exactly what I mean when I tell you here:<strong> &#8220;Be a mother that your child needs.&#8221;<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Each person is one way and has their specific needs.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":451,"featured_media":3472,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[146],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3471","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-from-mother-to-mother"],"better_featured_image":{"id":3472,"alt_text":"","caption":"","description":"","media_type":"image","media_details":{"width":1900,"height":758,"file":"2015\/10\/DMM_seja_mae.jpg","sizes":{"thumbnail":{"file":"DMM_seja_mae-150x150.jpg","width":150,"height":150,"mime-type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/www.vivianefreitas.com\/en\/wp-content\/blogs.dir\/4\/files\/2015\/10\/DMM_seja_mae-150x150.jpg"},"medium":{"file":"DMM_seja_mae-300x120.jpg","width":300,"height":120,"mime-type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/www.vivianefreitas.com\/en\/wp-content\/blogs.dir\/4\/files\/2015\/10\/DMM_seja_mae-300x120.jpg"},"large":{"file":"DMM_seja_mae-1024x409.jpg","width":1024,"height":409,"mime-type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/www.vivianefreitas.com\/en\/wp-content\/blogs.dir\/4\/files\/2015\/10\/DMM_seja_mae-1024x409.jpg"},"mini-thumbnail":{"file":"DMM_seja_mae-110x110.jpg","width":110,"height":110,"mime-type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/www.vivianefreitas.com\/en\/wp-content\/blogs.dir\/4\/files\/2015\/10\/DMM_seja_mae-110x110.jpg"},"big-medium":{"file":"DMM_seja_mae-320x220.jpg","width":320,"height":220,"mime-type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/www.vivianefreitas.com\/en\/wp-content\/blogs.dir\/4\/files\/2015\/10\/DMM_seja_mae-320x220.jpg"},"full-post-thumbnail":{"file":"DMM_seja_mae-1900x748.jpg","width":1900,"height":748,"mime-type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/www.vivianefreitas.com\/en\/wp-content\/blogs.dir\/4\/files\/2015\/10\/DMM_seja_mae-1900x748.jpg"},"post-thumbnail":{"file":"DMM_seja_mae-825x325.jpg","width":825,"height":325,"mime-type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/www.vivianefreitas.com\/en\/wp-content\/blogs.dir\/4\/files\/2015\/10\/DMM_seja_mae-825x325.jpg"}},"image_meta":{"aperture":0,"credit":"","camera":"","caption":"","created_timestamp":0,"copyright":"Konstantin Yuganov - Fotolia","focal_length":0,"iso":0,"shutter_speed":0,"title":"","orientation":0}},"post":3471,"source_url":"https:\/\/www.vivianefreitas.com\/en\/wp-content\/blogs.dir\/4\/files\/2015\/10\/DMM_seja_mae.jpg"},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v25.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Be the mother that your child needs - Viviane Freitas<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.vivianefreitas.com\/en\/be-the-mother-that-your-child-needs\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_GB\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Be the mother that your child needs - Viviane Freitas\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Each person is one way and has their specific needs.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.vivianefreitas.com\/en\/be-the-mother-that-your-child-needs\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Viviane Freitas\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2015-10-16T09:00:24+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.vivianefreitas.com\/en\/files\/2015\/10\/DMM_seja_mae.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1900\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"758\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Josiane Boccoli\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Josiane Boccoli\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Estimated reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.vivianefreitas.com\/en\/be-the-mother-that-your-child-needs\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.vivianefreitas.com\/en\/be-the-mother-that-your-child-needs\/\",\"name\":\"Be the mother that your child needs - 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